Carl Rogers (1959) believed that humans have one basic motive, that is the tendency to self-actualize, which means to fulfill one’s potential and realize the highest level of ‘human beingness’. Some other approaches of psychology give the metaphor that every being is like the flower that will grow to its full potential if the conditions are right such as having someone to care for them, light, water and so on. People will flourish and reach their hidden potential if they find the right conditions.
Rogers believed that every person could achieve freedom, wishes and desires in life and when they start this journey of non-denial and total dedication then self-actualization will take place.
Some religions and philosophies explore the meaning of self-actualization as a spiritual journey, both emphasize that it is wrong to see this as an end or completion of life’s journey, rather it is a process of always becoming and changing. To always be open to the process of always changing and becoming you need to be a fully functioning person. So what does that mean?
Rogers identified five characteristics of the fully functioning person:
1. Open to experience
To be open to both positive and negative emotions where both feelings are accepted. Negative feelings are not denied to ego defense mechanisms but rather worked through towards wisdom and understanding. How to do so?
The process involves a cultivating of openness to experience. It is definitely the polar opposite of defensiveness which often makes us curl up and hide and become smaller than our potential.
If a person could be fully open to his experience, every stimulus – whether originating within the body, the mind or in the environment – would be freely transmitted and communicated through the nervous system without being distorted by any defensive mechanism. In Buddhism you find the same aim desired and worked on through meditation, which is the practice of knowing the mind. It is the process of trying to understand when and how events and environment effect our experience of the world and our self. In different meditation practices you learn how to relax and let go of old experiences. In existential psychology you learn how to do that through reflection and exploration together with a therapist. In meditation you are encouraged to cultivate that in yourself, a gentle and transparent observing self who accepts all experiences and is open to new ones moment by moment.
So to speak in simple terms “the good life” appears to be a movement away from the pole of defensiveness toward the pole of openness to experience. The good life is an inner process not a passive consuming self that is totally affected by the outer circumstances. The individual is becoming more confident, accepting and gentle towards himself so to become able to listen to himself, to experience what is going on within himself. He is more open to his feelings of fear and discouragement, his feelings of vulnerability, courage tenderness and awe.
2. Living existentially
To live existentially means, according to Rogers, to be in touch with different experiences as they occur in life and as they change, avoiding any prejudice and preconceptions. Being able to live and fully appreciate the present, not always looking back to the past or forward to the future (living in the moment or mindfulness is a very common idea nowadays).
That is the second characteristic of the good life, a life which contains an increasing tendency to live fully in each moment. To a person who is fully open to his new experience, completely without defensiveness, each moment will be new and he will experience life as endlessly renewed because he or she is not stuck looking to identify life through past experience.
This person gets in touch with the fluidity of life which is present in such existential living. He is not holding onto a rigid identity of himself and his reality. This elastic self that emerges is able to experience and relate to every situation as unique and new and is more content than the stiff self, the self that forces every new experience to fit into an old story, twisting it to fit a per-conceived image of reality. It means that one becomes a participant and witness of the ongoing process rather than trying to control it. I can’t deny finding this very similar to the notion of letting go of the ego and dissolving in the spacious present moment that is at the center of Buddhism.
3. Trust our feelings
To pay attention to our feelings, our instincts and gut-reactions, to examine them closely and trust them. People’s own decisions are the right ones for them and we should trust ourselves to make the right choices for ourselves to. Most often we trust others more than ourselves in making the big decisions, why is that?
Living the good life appears to be manifest in having trust in our intuition and to react with the most sustaining behavior to each existential situation and moment.
The person who is fully open to his experience would have access to all of the available data in each situation, maybe not fully articulated but mostly subconsciously. If you can do that you need to make a choice thereafter on which to base your behavior into the equation of social demands, your own complex and possibly conflicting needs, your reminiscences of similar situations, your perception and finally how free you want to be or you can be without damaging yourself. The data would be very complex which is why it could be received and sensed only by the subconscious.
4. Creativity
Creative thinking comes with the ability to free yourself and to take risks which are important features of a person’s life if they are not to get stuck in repetition. Creativity also encourages the ability to try out new things and playfully approach our understanding of reality. This involves the ability to adjust and change and seek new experiences.
5. Fulfilled life
A life that is enjoyable where the person is happy and satisfied and always looking for new challenges and experiences. A fulfilled life is a life you don’t regret living.
For Rogers, fully functioning people are well adjusted, well balanced and interesting to know. Often such people are high achievers in society. Critics claim that the fully functioning person is a product of Western culture. In other cultures, such as Eastern cultures, the achievement of the group is valued more highly than the achievement of any one person. I think the fully functioning person is someone who enjoys the group achievement as much as his own, it is someone who is not always in need of achievement, rather doing what he enjoys doing and accepting the things which have to be done in order to survive. This person sees reality as a playground not as a serious competition.
Here is quote which reminds me about the notion of being open to experience:
“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.” “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” Rumi.
As I already explained, becoming fully functioning person is not about reaching an end. The nature of our experience is always changing and we need the wisdom to not cling on any one experience, whether positive or negative. This proverb sums it up very well for me.
A student went to see his meditation teacher and said, “My situation is horrible! I feel so distracted most of the time, or my legs ache, or I’m repeatedly falling asleep. It’s terrible.” The teacher said matter-of-factly, “It will pass.” A week later, the student returned to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive!” The teacher told him, “It will pass.”
